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Casa Los Suenos Wednesday, Feb 18 2009
Travel and Uncategorized family, home, house, leisure, luxury, Travel 9:22 am
This weekend was all about a house. The gorgeous, Spanish-style, 4000 square foot Casa Los Suenos. We arrived on Friday afternoon around 2:15pm. It was everything we imagined and more.
I was a little nervous after our last adventure renting a house in Rosarito when we went with one of my best friends, Jocelyn. The owner told me to pull up to the gated community and let the security guard know who I was and he would let me in. To let me in, he had to go to all of the trouble of lowering a metal chain so I could drive over it. Sure it works as well as the fancy automatic wood bar, but just doesn’t have that same feeling of accomplishment of getting through the gate. I hope if I get to Heaven, Saint Peter won’t just lower the chain so I can drive my wheelchair over. With my luck, the tire would get stuck and I’d get hurled out of my chair with a face full of Heaven’s dirt. I wonder if it would be like magical fairy dust instead of the “hay” dirt on the Arroyo horse trails I run on every day. Ok, once a week if I’m lucky, but anyway.
To continue with the Rosarito story, we drove to the house on a dirt path that would have been better suited to a ATV rather than my new Toyota Camry SE. We searching for house number 79 and as we get closer, we realize that were running low on block. The numbers go from 75, 76, 77, and 78 should be the end corner house. I was mortified. I dragged my friend to this dirty development for our resort adventure and got taken by an internet scam. We were going to end up sleeping in the sand at Papas and Beers. Our heart sank as we tried to see if maybe there might be a mistake. Maybe the nine got turned around and 76 was really our beachfront property. Finally, through the trees in the cul-de-sac island, I saw a house, out of order standing on its own. There it was, our number 79. An original nonconformist who provided us a vacation get-away like no other.
So luckily, no hidden secrets with Casa Los Suenos. We saw the pictures and there was no way that a house so decorated with such care for detail could possibly be a scam. From the bougainvilleas framing the italian-style pool to the kitchen that the whole family can be in at the same time and avoid running into each other, everything was perfect. Well at least my husband and I thought so because we got the grand master bedroom. The room itself was larger than any hotel room we could have gotten. The two person shower alone could have been an ideal place to put the queen size air mattress we were going to use for the kids if more people had come. You could still clean up in the footed bathtub encased in another tiled drain. It was like a tub for a tub!
We had no desire to leave the house, although we did on limited occasions. I don’t think I had one good meal, even the “exotic” sliders at Hamburger Mary’s lacked any appeal although they initially intrigued. The house gave us the opportunity to cook most of our meals and eat like a family, which we don’t do very often even though we live 20 minutes (or at least less than an hour) from each other in Los Angeles. Besides giving us too good of an idea of what it’s like to live with two rambunctious kids under five who love getting up at the crack of dawn and screaming at the top of their lungs in glee to be alive. I guess we should all be so lucky. I was a little more enthusiastic around 10am, after my morning cup of tea.
Still lost, but trying to create myself Monday, Feb 2 2009
Uncategorized 9:15 am
The new thing on Facebook is to create a list of 25 things about you. I could probably create this list and find funny, quirky idiosynchrosies that will help people get a better understanding of me. But when will I find a better understanding of myself? I’m open to this epiphany taking place. However, unfortunately, I’m no longer a kid. I keep waiting for it to happen tomorrow, but just lose another day in the process. I know I’m melodramatic. My husband’s worse fear is that I’ll have postpartum depression after (if/when) we have kids and lose them in the woods.
If I had to write my list, I would get to include in it my travels to Pakistan (where I was born), India, France, Spain, Italy, Austria, Switzerland, Germany, Czech Republic, Korea and Japan. In Switzerland, we rappeled and jumped off canyon cliffs into pools of water – terrifying for someone who can’t swim. We lived in Japan for six months, which was a truly amazing experience. Yet even with that, I can’t feel satisfaction because I went there with for my husband’s job and felt lonely a lot of the time. That loneliness made me feel weak and ashamed. I love travel, cultures new experiences, how could I be unhappy in a place that gave me all of the things I enjoy. It wasn’t until I returned and examined my extrovertedness, my need to draw energy from others around me. If I don’t have someone to be with, I can’t quite enjoy myself. Not that I don’t love having time to myself to read, write, get away. Those times just need to be limited. A change from being on the go surrounded by others and their desires.
I’ve worked in television, seen wonderful celebrities and attended fun events. I live near majestic mountains and not far from beautiful beaches. My days aren’t too stressful and I have time, plenty of time that I spend unwisely.
What is unsatisfying to me at this point in my life is that although I’ve had some great experiences, I still can’t say that I’m an expert or leader at anything. I realize the beauty of this is that I still can be and I still hold out hope. However, I’m not one now and when do I expect to be. I’ve found things I’m passionate about, but I’m still not pursuing with passion any aspect of my life. It’s very disheartening. However, ultimately, it’s up to me to find the passion. I wish I had a mentor and guide who could really show me the way. It’s still up to me to do the work.
1. Jumped off a canyon cliff 50 feet high into a pool of water. Pretty scary for someone who can’t swim
2. Skydived tandem, but still managed to screw up the landing and make my instructor fall.
3. Went to a party with Mayor Villaraigosa and former Gov. Gray Davis. I gave my businesscard to Mrs. Davis. Still haven’t heard from her though.
4. Although I’m a very indescisive person, I knew I would marry my husband the minute I saw him. We were both dating other people at the time
5. During our first year dating, I told my husband, then-boyfriend that I wanted to have 10 kids and live in a trailer park so we could be a close-knit family…and he still stayed with me!
6. I moved out to California to check out the west for a couple of years before settling back in Michigan. We’ve been in Los Angeles for 12 years and can’t imagine living anywhere else – the weather seals the deal!
7. I love new places and experiences. Although I would love to be a regular where everybody knows my name, if I go to the same place, I feel like I’m missing a new adventure.
8. My family thinks that I’ve been very bold and sassy as a baby, but I’m shy and not very confident. I just have spurts of sass that leaves me uncomfortable because I can’t follow through.
9. Would love to be a writer, but have never been prolific or at ease writing. I’ve never felt I had a command of the language.
10. I would love to live in another country, but hate the feeling of not having roots and history.
11. I went to a big college because I thought I was going to conquer, but realize that I probably would have been more successful at a small college.
12. I’m an introverted extrovert. I draw my energy from others, but it takes me years to feel comfortable around people. When I do feel comfortable, I have a high standard for friendship that most people can’t and don’t have a desire to meet. A high school classmate once called me shy and I decided to talk incessantly to prove I wasn’t. It was all annoying, meaningless chatter and I vowed to never to talk that way again. Still I wish I would speak up more than I do.
13. I’ve always had great friends, but never a best friend who would also call me a best friend. That was until my husband. When my husband first called me his best friend, I couldn’t say the same about him. Now, his friendship is the truest thing I know and I cherish is deeply. However, i try not to frolick on the coast singing to the Madonna song of the same name.
14. My personality is the median of of my older sister and brother.
15. I’m becoming more like my mother everyday. I even cross my arms and walk hunched over to keep warm in the same way. I admire how much she sacrificed to feed us, wash our clothes and care for us. I hope I don’t become as scared as her.
16. I am more like my father – feeling like I was meant to do something important and change the world, but not doing anything so bold because we love our family too much and don’t want to sacrifice them. We love being surrounded by other people, but when it comes down to it, we don’t need any of them as much as we need our family. So our individual choices are tempered by our ideals for our family (a few friends feel like family).
17. I’ve never been good at standing up for myself and having good comebacks.
18. My cats have taught me valuable lessons about how I want to raise my children and made my desire to adopt even stronger.
19. Procrastination and lack of discipline is the main reason I haven’t accomplished my goals thus far. Still, I can be a hard worker and believe in a job well done. Sometimes, I just run out of time to do the job I should have done if I’d started earlier. In school, I had the ability to cram things in and still get them done. I lost that ability, but still function as if I will get things done regardless of when I start them. “My people” are constantly late and I battle my disease of lateness that runs in my blood like an alcoholic fighting his demons – every day is a new day.
20. I’m at 20 and don’t know how I’ll do the rest. they certainly will have to wait until after I get some sleep.
rollerrink girl Friday, Jan 30 2009
Novel Characters 9:11 am
rollerrink girl always skated to fast for me. She had a spirit that I could never keep up with. Part of me was stuck wondering how she picked me to go with her to her favorite hangout. I never did move beyond that. After a while, I had to break away because rollerrink girl was too much for me. She was the wild child, with the long dark mane of hair flying behind, sometimes landing in her face as she twirled and got lost in the freedom of movement. To go as fast as she could and never look back. I always looked back. Wondering if my mother would see me hanging out with the rebellious soul. Always looking to live life, which is something I never wanted the freedom to do. If I lived life, what kind of trouble would I get into? Into plenty if I continued to hang out with rollerrink girl. She would stalk the cheesy couple who would skate side by side with their hands in each others back pockets. We would make fun of them and hide their shoes while they were skating while gazing into each others eyes. They would come crashing back to reality once they were ready to go home and helplessly searched for their pearly white keds and green converse high tops with the laces cooly undone. Rollerrink girl and I would hide in the back corner and just laugh. She laughed with reckless abandon and a flare in her eyes. I had the nervous laughter of a preachers daughter hoping not to get caught drinking the communion wine.
Rollerrink girl never got the best grades. In fact, I think her mother wanted her to hang out with me so maybe some of my studiousness would rub off on her. Yet, I was never comfortable enough being me to influence her. Still, good grades be damned because rollerrink girl could recite her favorite movie lines verbatim, personifying every character. My favorite was either Stand By Me or The Breakfast Club.
It wasn’t long that I went home to mom and never went out with rollerrink girl again. But god, I miss her wild passion to live life on her own terms and be noone else but herself. How I wish I could be like rollerrink girl now.
hunkering down Thursday, Jan 29 2009
Uncategorized frugality 5:15 pm
I believe it’s time for all of us to hunker down and get down to the basics. I pride myself in being frugal…well that’s at least what I tell my friends while I sneak behind their backs and buy yet another candle set, candle holder, anything wood carved, bookmarks, snoopy sno cone machine…the last one I just couldn’t resist. As if my entire childhood would be represented in this item that I was denied all these years. Am I a complete person now that I have my sno cone machine. Considering that I will never use it and am saving it for my kids who won’t want anything to do with a cheap plastic “machine” that will break their little arms with all the ice crushing required. Not to mention how ridiculous they’ll look covered with a strange blue dye for which we still don’t know the half-life.
The sad thing is, I believe all these don’t count. And quite frankly they don’t. They don’t count because they don’t have any meaning to me. Sure, most of the wood carved items are made in India or Pakistan so I feel they are a little part of my culture. But maybe my time and money would be better spent learning to speak the language or reading the history.
Or if I really need a material fix, why not buy a quality item, even if it costs a little more. My husband laughed at me when we were living in Japan. I must have spent hundreds of dollars on useless little trinkets that are just thrown in junk drawers for now. He asked me why I didn’t just buy a few items that would be more useful, or at least display-worthy instead of choosing from the million chochkies found at the tourist traps.
So I no longer pride myself on being frugal. I would rather have less. However, if I do need or absolutely want something, it should be worth it and spend the extra money to get a quality item rather than something short lived.
change change change Tuesday, Jan 20 2009
News News, politics, Resolutions 6:29 pm
I’m thinking in a brand new way.
We’ve waited for so long. Today marks a momentous change in American politics. If his campaign and transition is any indication, we will come together and lead us in a positive direction, towards a true America of our ideals.
He won’t be perfect. There are too many problems to address and compromises that need to be made. However, the one thing we can’t compromise is our ideals and values. Without those, what are we fighting for? That is a question we have to be able to answer. Not all wars are fought to defend our freedoms. We must hold our fighters dear. It is not for them to judge for they single-mindedly fight in our honor. It is for our commander to only use them in as a last and in a just cause.
These past eight years have been suffocating. Hard to remember just how awful it had gotten. I still remember that New Years Eve with our friend Paul, who lost respect for us because we begrudgingly acknowledged that Bush was the president. We didn’t acknowledged that he won, but what is is. The years following were heart-wrenching. Anyone who questioned the president or where America was heading, we were cast aside as unpatriotic, a stinging charge when we were clinging to America, not willing to let it be dragged through the mud.
But today is a new day. Thoughts of rebirth and renewal revive my spirit. It’s January 20th and I’m reassessing my resolution list. Still trying to hold on to this brand new life I’m trying to lead. Now I’ve been asked to work hard. Will I be able to live up to my own ideals so that I can help in lifting America up?
It is up to us. These men and women in power are just surrogates of our power. We cannot sit back and let others do our work without accountability and responsibility. Many have learned the hard way of what happens when you blindly trust an accountant or broker to manage your money. We cannot relinquish our power.
So what can I do to be the best and strongest I can be? This is the question I must address.
Where did Sarah Palin go? Tuesday, Jan 13 2009
News 8:22 am
Oh Sarah, you had me at hello. I was beginning to miss not hearing that soft accent and sweet eye wink. But leave it to you to keep putting yourself out in the media that you hate so much. Sarah Palin cried to conservative filmmaker John Ziegler that Caroline Kennedy is getting an easy ride in the media because of class.
Ziegler is doing a documentary describing how Obama won the election because of the evil left wing media and their bias. That’s the right’s answer to all of their problems. So how exactly can they explain how Bush was in office for the last eight years and how the media helped him wage his preemptive strike against the man who tried to kill his daddy?
When shown a clip of Katie Couric complaining to David Letterman that she didn’t understand why Sarah just wouldn’t answer what newspapers or magazines she read, Sarah answered at the tube “Katie, you’re not the center of everybody’s universe.” Oh, but Sarah, you certainly are the center of our world.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/politico/20090108/pl_politico/17217
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/01/08/palin/index.html?source=refresh
Gov. Sarah Palin (R-Alaska) believes Caroline Kennedy is getting softer press treatment in her pursuit of the New York Senate seat than Palin did as the GOP vice presidential nominee because of Kennedy’s social class
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/01/08/palin/index.html?source=refresh
ZIEGLER: If, by chance, you had been chosen as the vice presidential candidate for Barack Obama, pretend you wanted to be really post-partisan, how do you think your candidacy would have been treated differently?
PALIN: I think they would have loved me as a candidate. There’s so much hypocrisy in it all. It’s pretty baffling. But yes, had I been chosen perhaps to run as a reformer on the Democrat ticket, we would have seen an absolutely different and, I think, if you will, a much prettier profile of Sarah Palin and the Palin family and my administration.
First Blog Wednesday, Jan 7 2009
Uncategorized 5:16 am
Day 6. must write must write must write prolifically…for now, this is just for me, to get started. A question was asked today that I heard second hand. In the future, will we be able to discern humans from robots? This thought came to my mind the other day while I watched the news report of the Japanese scientists who created a robot/clone – a robot who looks just like him. It’s interesting how those working on movies set templates for scientist to fill in the blanks and make reality. Will robots be able to feel emotions one day? Yesterday, I was listening to Temple Grandin talk about the emotions animals feel and how we can ease their suffering by being attune to their perspectives. It was once thought to be anthropomorphisms to give animals human feelings such as anxiety, love, jealousy, compassion… However, anyone who has a pet feels their wrath when we pick them up from the kennel after returning from vacation. Pet refuse to “speak” to their owners because of the insult of being abandoned and left in a kennel while the family enjoyed themselves on their own. I’ve witness my own kitties literally turn their backs on my husband and me when we returned from vacation. We had to earn their love and affection back and prove our loyalty. I’m suffering a neck crink at the moment because since I’ve been home, my kitty has conquered me sits on her throne on my shoulders to prove who rules the household. I simply obey.
Hello world! Wednesday, Jan 7 2009
Uncategorized 4:48 am
Welcome to WordPress.com. I hesitated signing up because I didn’t know if I should sign up for wordpress.com or .org. The information said I need to consider what I want to see with my blogs six months to a year. Six months to a year, I’m trying to figure out what I want to do for the next six minutes. Well, we’ll see how this goes…
